The Curse of the Acoustic Asylum
You realise you are inside the Gatekeeper’s Acoustic Asylum.
The place where he locks up guitarists along with their guitar-playing dreams.
His eyes are like the flames of hell.
Your hands tremble as you pick up the notation for the “Blues Breaker” riff.
“Play this for me,” snarls the Gatekeeper, his voice a rasping whisper in the damp, echoing cell.
You play the simple blues riff BUT…
The music feels like a ghost, haunting and incomplete.
You look down at the damp, dreary stone floor of your cell and…
You see a lifeline…
Cryptic teachings from a former inmate.
It was written by someone who once shared the very cell you occupy inside the labyrinth of the Acoustic Asylum.
You stop playing to clear the dust off the stone floor and read the following…
These five tips will help you beat the curse of the Gatekeeper and escape the Asylum… Follow these tips, now and forever.
#1 – End the “Death Grip”: You do not need to press hard when you fret the notes. Precision is 100 times better than pressure. Place your fingers close to the frets and add just a little pressure. I call this “MINIMUM PRESSURE REQUIRED”. Remember, there is no need to forge your fingers into unyielding iron.
#2 – The Magic of Patience: Slow down when you practise. If you rush, you will make mistakes. The Gatekeeper thrives on your mistakes. Do not rush and you will stop making as many mistakes!
#3 – Use the “10x Method”: A secret to beating the Gatekeeper and avoiding making mistakes is to practise one small chunk 10x in a row without errors. When you can do this, add another chunk, then another…
#4 – Breathe and relax. Take deep breaths from your belly. Wiggle your shoulders to relax and erase tension from your body. A relaxed body and mind play so much better.
#5 – Stop looking back and forth at each hand: Looking back and forth at both hands causes issues and hesitations. Look only at one hand at a time as you play this riff or even better, close your eyes.
Follow the above advice and let the music flow through you.
If the music flows, you will have hope. Now I want to give you advice on how to play songs using a special metho…
The message ends abruptly.
The Gatekeeper’s eyes, now pools of endless darkness, bear down on you like a stabbing chord in a symphony.
He holds the remains of a broken guitar…
“Play the Blues for Me, You Fool!” – he shrieks.